Proclaimational Information

unemployment sucks............

2012-02-07T09:05:00.000-08:00

Jobs are creating a "pool" of possible future employees if someone leaves (general motors, state of nevada,etc.). Same ole job posting or none from job bores. Congress wants to punish the poor to pay for Business Tax Cuts. A dismal election cycle this year. a new recession already here. Lack of leadership in Government while those who created and played in this financial crisis go free. Nobody pays for this except the people. Even if Government Officials take a pay cut, they have passive income that they can always bank on. I keep hearing "let the markets work themselves out" - they can't. They created this mess and, without Government Intervention World-wide, it'll all come crumbling down. The Global Economy is fragile as it is. The markets isn't the solution - their greed (and all those who prospered from it) caused it!

Oscar 01/23/2012

2012-01-23T15:09:00.000-08:00

I lost my Oscar today. My other baby boy had to be put to sleep. He got really sick over the weekend and wouldn't eat or drink. The Vet this morning found out that he was Diabetic. I would need to inject water into him at home since he was dehydrated for a few months at $140 a month. Then the diabetic medicine at $175 per 5 months. Then the regular vet visits and blood work at $269 a visit (probable twice a month at first).

The problem is that I am on unemployment and I am barely making it. I had to let my Oscar go. His sister, Mattie, looked all around for him then looked at me like, "What did you do with him? Where is he?". They were very close and she is the only one left. I must try my best to be there for her.

It's my fault. I should have tried harder to save money, get a car sooner, and took them to the vets sooner. I got so busy with day-to-day stuff that I should have spent more time with them.

Two cats within a month period. I am ready for a nervous breakdown. I don't like the idea of Mattie being alone while I'm working long hours (if a job comes up). When Mattie goes, I will be all alone and I am so afraid of losing her! I am so scared!

Kyle 12/19/2011

2011-12-19T19:44:00.000-08:00

I miss my Kyle. He was such a Beautiful Cat and he had such an amazing child-like quality with him when he played with a toy. I had to put him to sleep today. I got his favorite toy and Christmas Stocking on my wall above my bed. Losing an animal is like losing a child. The house is empty without him. He left too early in life but he was very sick and I am very broke. I am on unemployment and I could not take care of a sick cat while I go on job interviews. I did not have the $2000 to make him well - if they could even save him. a large part of the problem was that he was really fat and I worked a lot or had problems to solved and didn't pay enough attention till I realized there was a problem. Since my divorce 6 years ago, it has been one thing after another and the cats get ignored because so much pressing issues are on you. I hope to learn from my mistakes from the loss of my Friend. I wish I could go back and changed things but I have a problem of not seeing a problem till its right in my face.

I miss you, Kyle. Rest in Peace, my little one.

Best as can be expected...

2011-10-21T20:47:00.000-07:00

Unemployed, doing job searches. jobs are drying up and its the same old jobs being listed over and over again. I need to start learning stuff including typing but my chronic fatigue has really been acting up. My mind is clear but my body has absolutely no energy. My motivation and drive is non-existent. I ordered some adrenal gland extracts and I sure hope it works.
Yes, I have insomnia. Yes, I have depression. One job popped up for a computer tech assistance. Requirements was knowing how to repair computers, knowledge of microsoft software (XP, Windows 7, Office 2010, workstation virus protection, remote access support), and network skills (VPN, RDP, VNC, Citrix). This is only a summary of the full 2-page requirements for the job. They wanted someone with a BS degree and 5+ years experience and have their own car to travel 50% of the time to various locations (and gas is going UP). This is for Goodwill Thrift Store. The pay? $15 a hour part-time.

Welcome to Nevada.

Pruning.....

2011-08-18T14:32:00.000-07:00

cleaning up all the loose ends that we all inherited from a long To-Do list that can never be achieved while working/relationships/commitments/responsibilities takes center-stage to our lives. If I can get my life down to "zero", it will be interesting to see what is really there.

How do you want your dog biscuit?

2011-08-01T17:38:00.000-07:00

Many in their careers and field aspire to become known and famous. This is more true in the Entertainment Industry. Regardless if it's music or acting or modeling, it's all the same. For some, they work very long years to get known and they may or may not achieve famous. This "known" becomes like a "cult-following". Others instantly become famous. And they constantly are busy trying to achieve this? But do we need to be known or/and famous? It's a part of our culture to constantly better ourselves, constantly go-go-go, constantly trying to achieve our goals - but for what? We NEVER achieve this except a few. Instead of buying their books, watching their videos, and admiring from afar, we should grow up and realize it ain't working. And all the sooner before we become disillusioned with life.
Do we always have to be busy doing "something"? Is it no surprise that when we find ourselves doing nothing, we're totally depressed? And that we only find our "self-worth" when we're busy doing something - aspiring goals, having fun, meaningless activities like reckless spending, etc - but totally feeling worthless and life feeling meaningless doing those "down" periods? Have we been programmed to act like this from our jobs, our entertainment, our careers? And what's outside of the "box", especially since no one has gone outside? (many claim but for making money from us). Because our self-worth is so attached to this fast-paced lifestyle, we cannot break the cycle. "It would ruin my resume. my reputation is always on the line. My career is at stake." So we have to make connections, networking, e-mails checked when sick or on vacation, build-for-success, working long-hours and weekends in vain, etc. Jobs demand more - especially our time, family time, and life. With the loss of available jobs in today's markets, even our very soul. We have to pledge the Allegiance to Corporate Governance above family, beliefs, and country. In the end, you'll end up sick - sick to death of the life you're living. Because it was all for corporate profits at the top. For you? A pat on the head, a dog-biscuit, and a "Now get back to work!" I've been there; done that.
R.I.P.

House cleaning

2011-07-21T08:18:00.000-07:00

being on the Internet all day, job searching, is boring. But so is removing viruses off one's computer from visiting Facebook so I shouldn't complain.

The e-pads are gone. a project that didn't work due to not being able to develop the right switch to trigger the pads like a midi drum pad. I am working on down-sizing (not only my lifestyle but also my projects and consumerism) because I believe this economic depression is long-lasting, not temporary. Also due to the fact that this is man-made, a huge pile of debt that cannot go away, consistent bubbles forming that threatens to pop the whole thing to kingdom-come, and long-term high unemployment. Things might pick up towards the holiday season till retailers realize that no one is buying cause customers are hanging on to what little they have left. - just like their Corporate counter-part. Then will come the mass layoffs affecting 2012. Without any kind of job security, consumerism dies right with it.

So I have to work on which projects to scrap and which to keep. If I have to move, I want to be on the go within one day at the most. That's a big "IF" but one that could be possible with today's economic disaster. I bought a new computer with 6 cores as the Pentium 4 is getting old. although power consumption is lower, I have yet to see any speed. It has a 1 TB 7200rpm 32mb cache 6/gb per second drive and 8GB of new ram yet it seems lacking. Software has yet to be written to use any cores beyond two efficiently is part of the problem. I'm hoping Linux Tango Studio 1.1 will do well with it. I guess I'll have to research more on it. My Pentium 4 would take a while to boot but be solid when finally up. But it would drag on most cpu-intensive stuff (like video editing). With operating system and software changing to 64 bits, I feel it was time.

Unemployment link and updates

2011-07-08T14:50:00.000-07:00

I have an Unemployment Blog since being recently laid off. It's at

http://unemploymentfromdayone.blogspot.com/2011/07/july-8.html.

I also have been working on the dual neck guitars that I started a year ago (or more) and has been dormant due to work and stress. Job Searching takes up a lot of time as well.

University of Nevada Press

2011-04-07T21:44:00.000-07:00

I am being laid off from my job as Warehouse Manager after 12 years there. Nevada has the highest unemployment in the nation and being over 50 makes one obsolete in the job market. It's a very frustrated time as age really does play a role against you. I can't do all the heavy warehouse lifting as when I was younger. I am taking notes and will be posting on a separate blog all the juicy details of the warehouse closing down.

Trying to get my bearings...

2011-03-08T22:38:00.000-08:00

I didn't know it was so long since I last wrote. My job at the University of Nevada Press ends soon after almost 12 years. There's alot yet to say but I can say this: UNR has abandon me and I have therefore abandon it. All they want to do is kick me out the door like a discarded item. I have bad knees and a bad right from working there and have kept the Press going by doing all the warehouse/shipping/receiving duties and no one cares. There's more I can say but this will do for now.

as things stand...

2010-10-17T12:02:00.000-07:00

Insomnia has settled in over my forth-coming job lost. The University of Nevada Press is letting go of two classified people yet they hired on an unnecessary Faculty person. So much for "Ohhhh! Theses cuts are so baaaaad!" yeah, sure. It'll probably cost close to $400,000 to close the warehouse and taxpayers are going to have to pay for it as the department doesn't have that kind of money. Well, they DO have money but that's internally. Business has been slow but, if they would get out there and market the books "in person" instead of behind a computer, that could change. Doing all these "special events" aren't working. When you take in consideration the cost of travel & food expenses and all you get in return is one or two small book sale, you know the business model doesn't work. One is going on right now locally and the pictures sent by the marketing manager shows an event that looks like it's dead. two people in one picture and one person talking to an Acquisition Editor in the other picture. But the University doesn't operate from any kind of Business model cause "it's a Institution, stupid!" mentality reigns. I was thinking of writing articles about my 11 years at the University. I know there would probably be alot of interest, especially to taxpayers tired of footing the bills.

Modem to Router

2010-09-19T20:01:00.000-07:00

have AT&T modem and Linksys router that never played good together till now. I always had for two years a computer with two nics in it between them for home network. It was to be used for network analysis. I finally got both working using Mac Cloning and changing the router's IP from 192.168.1.1 to 192.168.2.1 (conflicts with AT&T modem). It Works! Then I had to do "netstat -a" to find the IP address of my print server.
My only problem now is getting Ubuntu to work. It's such a beast at times. I upgraded my 8.04 to 10.04 and it crashed so I had to do a fresh install. It's almost like before but not quite.

Dual Guitars

2010-08-21T21:08:00.000-07:00

Making my own dual-neck electric guitar - sorta like a chapman/warr guitar except lo-fi. perhaps even very lo-fi. But, after a few months, I put some more time into it. more sawing and drilling to come. Eventually the pickups won't be sitting next to the creamer anymore in the cupboards. Still, still, still working on that next improv CD.

semi-retired...for now...

2010-08-12T11:00:00.000-07:00

as I look forward, that's how I feel. I'm not retired nor can I retire but I am semi-retire as life is more relaxed. I look at free improvisation and have no desire to play. computer-geek-stuff is heading the same way due to burn out from other people. There is the loss of job ahead so I am enjoying my time till the whole thing collapse. This may just include the rest of the country as well.

Do a background check before you buy another movie

2010-08-12T10:46:00.000-07:00

1)"Wolverine: Origins": The movie was well-done, Gambit was great, but a flat-based plot that didn't follow the X-Men trilogy.
2) Hugh Jackman glorified on the "behind-the-scenes" on the making of the movie. "He really put his ALL into this movie". Well, doing an internet search, I can see why: His production company he created (with his wife and another person)was involed (so that brought in some millions) and he got paid $20 Million for making the movie. Who wouldn't put their ALL into it?!! It's like the new Star Trek movie where they did the "behind-the-scenes" and glorify J.J. Adams. Granted - these guys got talent but that's as far as it goes. Ever seen The Muppets Christmas movie? at the end, Kermet gives miss piggy a mink that goes around saying. "O Miss Piggy, I watch all your films, I'm your biggest fan, I worship the ground you walk on!" yeah, all this idolatry stuff really is pathetic.
3) Hugh Jackman: "I don't set goals". Really?? Go here to: https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/Hugh_Jackman#Future_projects and look at his future projects. These things just don't fall out of the sky and land in your lap. You have to work for them.
4) Hugh Jackman involvement with the U.N. on poverty concerns me as the U.N. is anti-U.S. Constitution. The goal has always been to tax U.S. Citizens for world poverty and that violates taxation without representation. I therefore destroyed the DVD and threw it in the trash. Next time, I'll have to do a background check before I buy another movie.

Of Hopes and Dreams...

2010-07-17T22:37:00.000-07:00

It occured to me that I have left this place unintentionally. I have found out verbally on May 4th that my job (plus co-worker) will soon end. There is alot of stress and emotions running thru me right now. I am trying (rather late) in saving a rainy day fund as the University where I work keeps refering to me finding outside work. I am in the State system and I intend to get back in. But it does look like the University system doesn't want me to have unemployment.
I have been studying for a Network exam but it's been slow going. people have also been interrupting me over their computers and I have to quit doing that. CompTia is getting lifetime certifications only this year. Since I'll be unemployed, it'll be the last exam for awhile. I have 2 bad knees, bad right hip, and will be 52 soon. I have been involved with warehousing since 18 and I am getting too old for that. I'm getting worried living in the number 1 worst state with the highest unemployment (and, no, I don't have the ability to move to another state - I don't even own a car).

GTD

2010-05-29T23:22:00.001-07:00

Today has at least gone well. I actually accomplished some of the stuff I wanted to do but at a slower pace. The bad news is that work has given the verbal "pink slip" to me and a co-worker. We don't know the last day yet. I hope to start recording the material from cassettes for the new CD tomorrow if my newly-created Ubuntu 10.04 is properly working (if not, I still have 9.10). I have found some material that I wrote back in 2004 on my audio computer and I will spend time looking for more as it gives a glimpse of where I was at that time (when I released my last offical new-material CD "Midlife"). I have been busy studying for a Computer Network Exam and it's going to be hard. I need to get caught up on reading material - there's so much to read! I am building either a dual-neck or two-necks-as-one guitar. I hope it produces good material. The epads are still on the shelf as I haven't gotten around to them yet. I found out that Chip handy passed away in 2001 so I would like to put out material of his on CD's.

GTD

2010-04-17T21:50:00.000-07:00

I have been trying to get a GTD system working that fits me instead of me trying to fit some mold. I can say things are getting done but only because I realized that productivity is a verb, meaning "action". It may well be adjectives and adverbs but this mental idea has helped the last two weeks. I have a simple list for the work week and a daily planner for the weekend. although its a fragmented failed system, things are getting done.
Been needing some sort of a piece of furniture to house my DBX Stereo EQ, Shure microphone mixer, and cassette system (to transfer my tapes to CD) for the last two years. I ended up today getting a TV Cart from walmart and reconstructed it as it was a little too long. messed up as the bottom became the top and the top became the bottom. went to harbor freight and picked up a small floor dolly and screw it to the bottom of that thing. Man, the Lord does Great Work! There's no way I could have pulled this off; it's too perfect. Everything fits just right and now I can EQ sermons and music and record right into the computer. just too cool!
Ubuntu 9.10 is working on my audio computer with AVlinux PAE kernel. I doubt I'll upgrade to 10.4 on this machine right now.
I've watch two DVDs from Voice of the Martyrs titled "Underground Reality:Vietnam" and "Underground Reality:Colombia" and I HIGHLY recommend them! I know I'll be watching them over and over!

Budget Cuts

2010-03-18T20:36:00.000-07:00

It is looking like my job will be cut within a year. I have been implementing cost-saving measures, like using a watts meter and going with 15/25 watts light bulbs. The low energy type has mercury in them and, if they break, you're to call hasmat. I've been able to save $21.25 on my power bill this month! jobs are zero here in Reno, NV. one place, Bonanza Produce, would always have jobs available due to a large in/out of people. Now they won't be hiring for at least a year. a co-worker just came back from Hawaii - he said it's pretty dead there. I do not have the desire nor resources to move. I've been here since 1976 so I know the area well and seen it grow from a small pup to what it is now. so the stress level has been a bit high. the education and state bubbles are popping. from here, union bubbles. commerical real estate is happening. next drought. It's all downhill, folks!

Lib-hell

2010-02-01T13:16:00.001-08:00

been trying to create a scaled down version of ubuntu for audio/video work. After 3 tries with some success and failures, I deliberately crashed it by upgrading ubuntu hardy to debian squeeze. I was burned out, knew I would have to start over, so I figured "why not?". on another note, unemployment could be happening so I've been making plans. no jobs are available at a unemployment rate of 13% and climbing so I will concentrate on prayer, God's Word, and education in IT (computers). The news is all bad. Even with just one day without pay, it's hard. whether it's another pay cut or laid-off, the news is all bad. some people are going to lose their home.

Shil (March 10, 1993-Janurary 4, 2010)

2010-01-04T15:09:00.001-08:00

Shil "polarbear" Jackson passed away at 8:30am due to a congested heart and fluids in his lungs. He was an important member of the family and will be greatly missed. He is survived by the Dad Michael, his two sisters Emmicah and Rosalene, all three of Reno, Nevada, and by his Mom Tracy Sunman, of Michigan.

64Studio 3.0

2009-12-26T22:20:00.000-08:00

Ubuntu 8.04 64Studio Combo
The goal of this is to get a stand-alone, solid audio production system.
1) Install command-line of Ubuntu 8.04 LT (prefer bare-bone system). Installed midnight commander after reboot (personal choice). (in terminal and in order) sudo aptitude -purge cron,at, amora-utilities, amora, fuse-utilities, ubuntu-standard, popularity-contest, reiser-progs, resink, wpa-supplicant, ed, ufw (firewall). added readahead, apt-move, check-install, and prelink.
2) install gnome-core, xfont-base, xorg. install xorg, xfont-base, gnome-core, gnome-media, gnome-audio, gnome-volume-manager, gnome-system-tools, update-manager, alsa* (alsa with a "star" (shift+8) after it), gdm, synaptic, firefox, gdebi. then sudo apt-get upgrade. (modified from http://groups.google.com/group/microclient/browse_thread/thread/1f5940606f2819e1/2c12875f56ebf0db?lnk=gst&q=hardy#2c12875f56ebf0db about installing a small Ubuntu on the Microclient)
3) blacklist the Intel on-board audio. lspci | grep -i audio. blacklist intel on-board audio at \etc\modprobe.d\blacklist and add to list snd_intel8x0 and snd_intel8x0m. install real-time kernel 2.6.24-24-rt. reboot. install nvidia-glx-new for dual video card. had to take my xorg.conf from another ubuntu partition and overwrite old one to make it work. reboot.
4) Boot to desktop. error will popup with problem with "fast user switch" applet and I deleted it. using synaptic: install nvidia-glx-new for dual video card. had to take my xorg.conf from another ubuntu partition and overwrite old one to make it work. reboot.
5) using synaptic: install archive manager, rar, zip. install jackd. install envy24 for soundcard (M-Audio 1010LT). install gnome-alsa-mixer, Jack-Audio-Connection-Kit. install hydrogen, qjackctrl, jackbeat, jackeq, jackrack, jacktools, jammin. install ardour. install mhwave. install rezound. install gdebi. install auduacity. install cd & dvd burning apps and others through synaptic - for example: cd paranoid, cdrdao, creox, flac, gnome-baker, joshner, traverso. run jack. You have to start jack to see all the input and outputs for audio. terminal > sudo alsamixer > make sure to turn settings up. DAC controls left channel and DAC1 controls right channel.
From here, I followed the instructions from the "Linux Mint 5 to 64Studio" instructions: http://forums.linuxmint.com/viewtopic.php?f=42&p=151717#p151717
6)install wine & wineasio. use 64studio beta3 and ubuntu studio 9.04 CD is to be used for upgrading individual packages ONLY (Don't upgrade the whole system!). install nvidia-glx-new for dual video card. had to take my xorg.conf from another ubuntu partition and overwrite old one to make it work. added 64studio respository: deb http://athardystudio.co.za/ pool & deb http://athardystudio.co.za/ hardy to apt-get conf file. sudo apt-get update.
added 64studio respository: deb http://athardystudio.co.za/ hardy. comment "security" repositories as this is not meant for internet when done. did apt-get update & upgrade.
7) Install k3b (burning software), DVD +RW tools, avidemux, open movie editor, kdelive, lives, kino, dedede, ubuntu studio audio plugins, fst, dssi-vst.
8) install Cinelerra
repositories: http://akirad.cinelerra.org akirad-hardy main
went to etc/security/limits.conf > add in @audio - rtpio 99, @audio - nice -10, @audio - memlock unlimited. reboot.
NEXT: To make an image of the partition and transfer to another computer

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

2009-11-26T22:16:00.000-08:00

I have been busy on several projects. one is several CDs improvisor Adam Bohman in England. The second is finalizing the documentation that I used to make my hybrid ubuntu-64studio os. still working on the transfering to another computer. I still have to post to forum/blog. some improvs and circuit-bending trys as well.

New Post

2009-10-25T22:59:00.000-07:00

Finally, things begin to gell. I have a modify linux for audio/video and have started a bible study routine. so much has happen in the last 4 months. I was mention on an audio broadcast of an interview with Adam Bohman back in May. I don't know what to think of it. Am I an improvisor? In heart and mind, yes. In practice, no. I've been spending more time in prayer and prayer for the persecuted christian church and the Word of God. But I did do some interesting improvs tonight. It's been about a year.

The Résumé of Jesus Christ

2009-06-13T19:55:00.000-07:00

The Résumé of Jesus Christ
Address: Ephesians 1:20
Phone: Romans 10:13
Website: The Bible. Keywords: Christ, Lord, Savior and Jesus
________________________________________________________________

Hello. My name is Jesus -The Christ. Many call me Lord! I've sent you my resume because I'm seeking the top management position in your heart. Please consider my accomplishments as set forth in my resume.

Qualifications
* I founded the earth and established the heavens, (See Proverbs 3:19)
* I formed man from the dust of the ground, (See Genesis 2:7)
* I breathed into man the breath of life, (See Genesis 2:7)
* I redeemed man from the curse of the law, (See Galatians 3:13)
* The blessings of the Abrahamic Covenant comes upon your life through me (See Galatians 3:14)

Occupational Background
* I've only had one employer, (See Luke 2:49).
* I've never been tardy, absent, disobedient, slothful or disrespectful.
* My employer has nothing but rave reviews for me, (See Matthew 3:15-17)

Skills Work Experiences
* Some of my skills and work experiences include: empowering the poor to be poor no more, healing the brokenhearted, setting the captives free, healing the sick, restoring sight to the blind and setting at liberty them that are bruised (See Luke 4:18).
* I am a Wonderful Counselor, (See Isaiah 9:6). People who listen to me shall dwell safely and shall not fear evil (See Proverbs 1:33).
* Most importantly, I have the authority, ability and power to cleanse you of your sins (See I John 1:7-9)
Educational Background
* I encompass the entire breadth and length of knowledge, wisdom and understanding (See Proverbs 2:6).
* In me are hid all of the treasures of wisdom and knowledge (See Colossians 2:3).
* My Word is so powerful; it has been described as being a lamp unto your feet and a lamp unto your path (See Psalms 119:105).
* I can even tell you all of the secrets of your heart (See Psalms 44:21).

Major Accomplishments
* I was an active participant in the greatest Summit Meeting of all times (See Genesis 1:26).
* I laid down my life so that you may live (See II Corinthians 5:15).
* I defeated the archenemy of God and mankind and made a show of them openly (See Colossians 2:15).
* I've miraculously fed the poor, healed the sick, and raised the dead!
* There are many more major accomplishments, too many to mention here. You can read them on my website, which is located at: www dot - the BIBLE. You don't need an Internet connection or computer to access my website.

References
* Believers and followers worldwide will testify to my divine healings, salvation, deliverance, miracles, restoration and supernatural guidance.

In Summation
Now that you've read my resume, I'm confident that I'm the only candidate uniquely qualified to fill this vital position in your heart. In summation, I will properly direct your paths, (See Proverbs 3:5-6), and lead you into everlasting life, (See John 6:47). When can I start? Time is of the essence (See Hebrews 3:15).

Headwind 2

2009-06-08T11:28:00.000-07:00

again, it looks like things are picking up. I do have moments of sluggishness but advance I will. my home server with ubuntu linux will hopefully be done in 2 weeks. The outside wasp nest is gone as well as a second can of raid to wipe the area down with. I had to rearrange the front room furniture but that is not a final thing. using 3 green-striped index cards with sticky backs, I use each one as 6-10am, 10-4pm, and 4-10pm and write stuff on them. so far, so good. eventually, I'll make it to music making.

Headwind

2009-05-31T21:38:00.000-07:00

seems I have found a system where I am getting things done. I tend to get sluggish mid-day on the weekends but pick back up early afternoon. today was mostly a bad day emotionally but turned itself around about 5pm. It feels good to be productive but the projects are not quick ones. The current one has taken two weekends and next weekend will hopefully be part 3/3. I've decided to find a GTD system that works for me using index cards with sticky backs. work's system and home's system are completely different (and should be). I need to rearrange the front room but don't know how. That's the next big project.
The weather has been thunder storms and Hot due to Humidity. It's actually cool outside but can't get the cool air inside. I hope to start doing audio stuff. It's on the list but don't know when. I don't do hour-by-hour GTD - it won't work for me. I just do the 5 top important items and get them done. I have a pool of stuff that needs to get done and separate them according to importance and one-time event, rotating event (like cleaning), quick event, and long-time event.

you call me...

2009-05-29T10:56:00.000-07:00

You call me eternal, then do not seek me.
You call me fair, then do not love me.
You call me gracious, then do not trust me.
You call me just, then do not fear me.
You call me life, then do not choose me.
You call me light, then do not see me.
You call me Lord, then do not respect me.
You call me Master, then do not obey me.
You call me merciful, then do not thank me.
You call me mighty, then do not honor me.
You call me noble, then do not serve me.
You call me rich, then do not ask me.
You call me Savior, then do not praise me.
You call me shepherd, then do not follow me.
You call me Way, then do not walk with me.
You call me wise, then do not heed me.
You call me Son of God, then do not worship me.
When I sentence you, then do not blame me.

One day it just fell off a cliff....

2009-05-14T12:41:00.000-07:00

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2009/5/5/727606/-one-day-it-just-fell-off-a-cliff
One day it just fell off a cliff....(debt and the US$) by taonow
Tue May 05, 2009 at 06:08:19 AM PDT

Page 12 news that will soon be page 1.

It is no secret that the US government has been running up the credit card of late. So far there do not seem to have been any adverse consequences from the run up, but that does not mean that there will not be any, ever. On the contrary, a crisis is slowly building, and it is one that will erupt suddenly.

This is a story of debt and the dollar.

Before I start, a quick note: US Government debt consists of two forms. Form 1 is borrowed from the public (this debt is held by private citizens, hedge funds, mutual funds, foreign governments etc) and Form 2 is borrowed from trusts funds, like Social Security. At the end of April 2009, Debt held by the public was $6,930,824,942,975, debt held by Social Security etc was $4,307,767,198,983 , for a total debt outstanding of $11,238,592,141,958.

Here is the problem:

In the last 12 months (May 1, 2008 to April 30, 2009) the US government has borrowed $1.7 trillion in net new borrowings from the public. This is equal to 1/3 of the entire debt that was held by the public as at May 1, 2008. That's right, in 12 months the government has borrowed 25% of the total amount it has ever borrowed from the public in 230+ years!

The Good: On the good side is the fact that the US government has been able to borrow $1.7 trillion from the market in one year AND still have interest rates at record lows AND still have the dollar strong. On paper you would think that this would be impossible. Luckily however, for now at least, the US dollar is the world's reserve currency, and the dollar is the "go to" currency when times get scary and people want to keep their money safe. This "generosity" on the part of the market has allowed the government to run a huge budget deficit with little or no consequences to date.

The Bad: The money that has been lent to the US government (all $1.7 trillion of it) has to have come from somewhere. It has come primarily from investors wanting safety and from countries with trade surpluses looking for a place to stash their dollars (think China, Japan, Opec, etc.) and from the Federal Reserve which has been buying up debt (and printing money in the process). So far so good. In fact with rates so low one could be forgiven for thinking that there is still substantial excess demand out there for US government debt. But is that really the case?

Maybe so...but what about the future?

Not only does the US government need to hope that investors want to keep buying US debt, but it also has to keep finding a steady stream of new buyers willing to buy the continuing flood of new debt that it needs to issue to fund the deficit. Let's look at potential sources of this "stream" of cash.

1. Trade surplus countries. While China, Japan and OPEC nations have been big buyers of US debt in the recent past, this may not continue. The recession has hit trade exporters hard and many have seen a dramatic drop in their trade surpluses. No trade surplus, no need for US dollars. China in particular seems to have had other ideas of late. It has actively been buying commodities (copper, etc.) as a way of buying tangible assets with their reserves, as opposed to more US debt.

2. Safe Haven investors. Stock market crashes, bank failures, and Madoff scams are just a few of the reasons that people have decided that they want to keep their money safe, in US Treasuries (after all the US can not go bankrupt as it owns a printing press). So scared have people been that at times they were getting a negative rate of return on their Treasuries, and still bought them. But with fear ebbing, the peak inflow of "scared money" has likely passed. It is unlikely that this can be a major source of new purchases of Treasuries. In fact, some of this safe haven money may actually start to depart in search of higher returns.

3. Social Security. In the past, the government could count on borrowing "easy" money from Social Security every year. This was usually in the range of $250-300 billion per year. BUT...with a recession and more people retiring and fewer people working, instead of "providing" money, Social Security has started to "take" money. Since January 1, 2009, Intragovernmental holdings (primarily Social Security) have been reduced by $25 billion. This is a fundamental change, especially as the government is trying to borrow more and more. Its former biggest single lender has now started to ask for its money back. Talk about bad timing. [Update: As pointed out in the comments, this section as it reads is not technically correct. Instead of "Social Security" it should read "Intragovernmental Holdings". While Social Security makes up 56% of Intragovernmental Holdings, it appears that it is other components of Intragovernmental Holdings that are accounting for the changes noted. So the changes are real, but the source of the changes is not the Social Security Trust Fund as implied above].

4. Savers. As the recession bites, more people are saving. The saving rate is once again positive, which is a very good thing after the debt bubble that we have been through. American savers (individuals and corporations) are actually the biggest new potential pool of capital available to the government as potential purchasers of Treasuries.

5. The Fed. The Fed is the buyer of last resort. If no one else shows up to buy, or if they want too high a return, the Fed can step in and buy. But this is not without impact. When the Fed buys Treasuries it is effectively printing money. Carried to an extreme, it would eventually lead to significant inflation.

The Ugly: This is what could happen if the demand for Treasuries falls short of requirements. It is not pretty, and demonstrates clearly what happens when debt gets out of control.

We know the US government will need to issue a lot of new debt in the next two years at least. What happens if the buyers don't show up?

1. If buyers start to be scarce, we will start to see yields (interest rates) on Treasuries start to rise.

2. But the Fed wants to keep rates low to stimulate the economy. It can of course step into the market and buy up the extra Treasuries. If it buys enough it can push rates back down (but this would mean that it would have printed a lot of new money).

3. Existing holders of Treasuries, seeing that the Fed needs to step in to buy Treasuries, may decide that maybe they want to put their money elsewhere, so they start to sell. This again pushes up rates, and likely hits the US dollar.

4. Once the ball starts rolling, it becomes very hard to stop. Either the Fed has to allow rates to rise, or it really starts to print money. This likely would start a run on the dollar.

5. What is especially worrisome is that the government these last few years has been borrowing more and more short term money (30 day to 3 year) versus a lot of 30 year in the past. While rates are lower at the short end there is a much bigger risk should there be a "shock". A lot of debt now has to be rolled over regularly. Any shock could easily create a crisis. (Basically borrowing short has made the system more fragile).

What's Next?: Interest Rates: In the last couple of weeks we have seen rates on 10 year and 30 year bonds starting to move up above where the Fed would like to see them. The 10 year is now above 3% and the 30 year above 4%. This is an early sign that the market is having trouble digesting the supply coming from Washington.

US Dollar: The US dollar index (the US dollar valued against a basket of currencies), has been drifting lower and is on the edge of breaking lower technically.

Conclusion: Pressure from new debt continues to build. The market is starting to show some signs of strain. You should not be surprised to wake up one morning to see that a new crisis has arisen.

Disclaimer: This diary is not meant to argue for or against fiscal stimulus. It is meant to be an objective view of the market as I see it, like it or not.

Stable

2009-05-09T23:29:00.000-07:00

Since my vacation in April, I have found myself emotional stable, compared with the inner depression/fatigue of the past. I still have a hard time being productive between 10am-4pm but I have lately been getting past due projects (up to several years) completed. I have been settling down, spending only the mornings shopping for necessities and staying home afterward. no longer following the "urge" to be on the "GO!". I get some praying done as well as some reading. My asthma has been kicking in as well as my panic attacks, though I do not know why. I know that other people have been hit with allergy problems. The weather has gone from cold to hot. Pollen in the air. My back/hip/knee has been causing great problems and the cracking does concern me but it hasn't taken away my peace (for now). I have been doing very heavy lifting at work. hot baths and exercise helps alot. I don't seem so anxious like before - it has come down 50%. perhaps it is due to spending time with Jesus over things in my life.

Planning for the future

2009-04-24T10:53:00.000-07:00

I really have a problem with the weather. I'll get the 5-day forecast and then act inappropriately. Like today. It said that there was a 70 percent chance of showers. This morning, though cloudy and yet with some baby blue early morning sky, it didn't feel too bad. so my thought was to wear a thinner jacket. after-all, a high of 59 isn't too bad (there's been a heat wave in the mid-80's till now). Luckily, I wore my heavier snow jacket and wool hat and am glad I did. The storm started hitting real hard by 10am with high winds (we may even get snow). But usually I do the opposite. Yesterday was such a day. beautiful morning yet a storm was on it's way. wearing only long-sleeve thermal shirt, off to work I go. By the time to walk after work, it was a mistake as it was windy and cold.
We do this with our lives in planning for tomorrow. We ignored the signs and that is why we are in the economic mess we're in. we blame both government and elites for this (and we SHOULD) but we forget that we helped right along. We need to change before the weather really gets ugly.

And now a word from our sponser...

2009-04-15T22:19:00.000-07:00

I have realized my own burn-out-ness in life. take free improvistaion, for example. I just haven't had any motivation to play. I did do some guitar stuff last year but that was it. instead, I find myself more interested in reproducing my cassette catalog for CD format. I have just gotten done with 1979-89 and I am ready for 1991-92. I now have a hugh material of noisefestival that can be released - both CD and DVD.
I am not alone in this. Reading Robert Fripp's Diary, He's more working on his older catalog than on newer material. Bill Bruford has retired and seems to be doing the same (I am still reading his book). For me, I haven't found anything that made me go "Wow!" when playing. It's the same old free improv. unless I produced something worthwhile, I rather produce nothing (at least, new). perhaps being burned-out isn't that bad after all.

VAC

2009-04-11T20:49:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's vacation time again. I have been studying to take the first Comptia A+ computer exam on monday. Man, it is boring! I know how to fix computers so I figured I would try this in case I lost my job. There's stuff I don't know so I might not pass.
on the agenda is to do alot of praying. There's alot of prayer requests that are urgent. I have reading various stuff including Bill Bruford's autobiography. I've been contrasting that with "Revolution in World Missions" by K.P. Yohannan. I find it interesting that both Bruford and Robert Fripp are concentrating on mostly putting out archival material of their past (though Robert did mention future projects recently). I am working on the same thing, with my next CD of music from 1991-92 to be released shortly plus the community TV station that I produced shows on-the-air has given me all my video tapes to me (18 I think). They now only do DVD format. Most of them are the Noisefestival band that I co-founded from 1994-2003. Eventually, I'll put out DVD packages of the band. I haven't created anything new right now. It's not that its not on my mind; it just hasn't happened. right now, I'm focusing on GTD and getting things organized, in place, or out the door. I have created new instruments a year ago and recorded stuff but the music lies dormant on a hard drive. I think as I go thru my archived material, I'll see better where I and the music left each other. I did start on some Rock-In-Oppostion type music but that was still a year ago. I'm taking a hard look at my time and will be looking at waste. not having a car is a problem with grocery shopping. I also am having terrible hip/knee/back problems. such is life...

trying to come to a functional place

2009-03-30T14:18:00.000-07:00

It's amazing to see how things drag out...several projects get lagged behind. I should be excited and energized but I'm not. I feel better today than the last 3 years but I don't still have any great motivation and drive. I am working on setting up a bible study area but the apartment is small and I am out of ideas. It's where to place it and the tools to use it. I need my various work areas to be functional and easily accessible at all times. I've been reading some interesting stuff. Bill Bruford's book is out and I cheated and read the last pages to see why he is retiring. He has good reasons. I also have been reading Jonathan Edwards' "Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God". WOW! What an eye-opener! If only sermons today were written like this!

Sound Doctrine

2009-03-04T09:56:00.001-08:00

The Gospel of Christ is like sweet dough. false doctrines are like bad spices thrown up to "lively" it up, make it taste better, make it more appealing. Unfortunately, it corrupts the dough. Too many of us take sermons, songs, etc in the Christian Faith for granted, not taking the time to check the "Ingredients" in the mix. We need Sound Doctrines in our lives. We need to take the time to "Search the Scriptures Daily to see if these things be so" and to "Prove ALL things; Hold Fast to that which is Good". In Revelation 2:2, Jesus commended the Ephesians for trying them which say they are apostles, and are not, and hast found them liar. The word "Tried" (I use trying - sorry) means to "to test (objectively), that is, endeavor, scrutinize, entice, discipline: - assay, examine, go about, prove, tempt (-er), try".
It is vital in our Christian Faith to put aside our slothfulness and lazy ways and do the same.

Point B

2009-02-25T11:14:00.000-08:00

The Question arises in my mind that I need to get going from point A to point B. There are indeed things needed to get done but I sstopped myself this time and asked "What is Point B?" "What is Point A?". The reasoning being that we think thoughts without asking questions about those thoughts. We have been programmed to act/react and the only way to change this is to analyse the source code/data we've been programmed by.
What do I mean by "Point B"? It would mean the opposite of Point A or perhqps a "next step" in a linear progression. It is getting from someplace to someplace else and one that we preceive as better than the place we're at. few of us, however, are aware of the risks. we may be totally unfulfilled when we get there. This is not about climbing the ladder, as in the business world. This is not even some self-help program we are trying to master. It is simply a change from else to something else and it can be a very small change (that can have a major impact) or a big change. The problem is that we think thoughts without acknowledging those thoughts and having the proper definitions on terms within those thoughts.

Overwhelmed

2009-01-19T16:58:00.000-08:00

by the feelings inside, the anxiety and tiredness that prevails. my chronic fatigue lives on, my bones old and crackled, depression blooms in the air. and now I'm writing poetry-style that will be considered priceless 100 years from now. This is pitiful.
saw the asus EEEPC computer. might be handy if ubuntu linux is on it. I have scored a zero this 3 day weekend on energy/resources. I did finally got the kitchen organized except for the tools area. I've found skipping a meal gave a burst of energy but more of an anxiety attack. The different herbal stuff I have been taking have quit working. back to prayer...

The discipline of Execution

2009-01-07T10:06:00.000-08:00

if only it was that simple. It is and isn't. right now, chronic fatique has set in. I am very drained. I got up at 4:30am to do 2 loads of laundry before work. I meant to write about things earlier but didn't. The world as we know it is about to change. now, on to that nap...
(some days later...)things are slowly getting done. I am currently Identifying Bottlenecks/Plan & Implement Changes/Review, Redesign, and Redo. It's a simple 3-part phase. I have one 3X5 card for work activities (did the toilet & tub today and hope to start on the kitchen) and the other is Fun, something that has been lacking in my life for many, many years.
I need to find a way to dictate things. I'll have things on my mind to blog but my mind goes blank when I finally come here.

The Piracetam Report

2008-12-07T21:53:00.000-08:00

Day One: Friday Dec 5th 2008

Put Pracetam and Choline in capules. 2.4g of Piracetam to 2.4g of Choline
Bitartrate(1:1 ratio)
Results: energy pills were working better than usual(alot of heavy lifting that day)
no problem with sleep.

Day two: Saturday Dec 6th 2008

Dosage same as yesterday.
same as yesterday. morning went normal. afternoon resulted is very BAD mood swings and depression.
made for a very BAD day.
experienced some migraine headache.
everything tapered off after 9pm.
no problem with sleep.

Day Three: Sunday Dec 7th 2008

Dosage as previous days.
morning went by with no problems except nap from 9:30-10am. I usually have a heavy schedule for sunday's mornings/afternoon and would have to write everything down on a to-do list or else something could get missed. didn't have to do this. nap from 2-3pm. It can cause tireness.
Severe migraine headache by afternoon. some mood swings
after some research, decided that I have too much choline in my system so I did a test:
I took orally 4 1/4 tbs of Primacetam (920 mg X 4 = 3.68g) and 1/8 of Choline (440mg) using diet coke.
(The Primacetam was taken in 4 shots each)
migraine went away. felt 100% better!
perhaps some sort of brain fog has appear but much prefer to the painful headaches.
I can't say that my mind feels more alert or there are more clarity. finding the right doses is critical.
some upset stomach so it can trigger acid reflux. milk helps. I also had eggnog which can trigger acid reflux.
oral is the way to go. will put powder in bottle and bring measuring spoons with me. Choline is highly recommended.
8:30PM - feeling "UP" right now. It's about time!
Right now, I have this headache; sometimes feels like my head is in a vice. I have it now. I found a picture of Choline Bitartrate and a description of it. It does sound like my order was processed correctly. I took a small taste of each one and my headache went away. I hope this headache doesn't start each time I go off of it.

Day Four: Monday Dec 8th, 2008

6am - 1.84g of Priacetam with 880 Choline with Coffee
ended up extremely tired with a bad headache

9am - 920 of Priacetam with 880 of Choline
felt really bad but couldn't explain how I felt bad; just did
bad headache

Noon - 1.6g of Choline with 920 of Priacetam with 2 caffine pills
very wired/antisocial/very spacey; more headache

4pm - 880 Choline with 920 Priacetam
headache gone / clear thinking. pee alot on this stuff. little spacey but alert and "up"/ doing good
The rest of the night went well

Day Five: Tuesday Dec 9th 2008

woke up tired but OK.
5:30am - 920 Priacetam with 1.6 Choline with coffee. bad mistake - bad crash. total exhaustion. bad headache
10am - 920 Priacetam with 880 Choline and 2 caffine pills. have headache.gonna have to figure out what is causing the headache and making them stop.
11am - took 920 Priacetam alone to see if that stops headache. seemed to helped. headache went away. spacey feeling.
1pm - 920 Piracetam with water
working better with Choline. headache gone.

SOCIALISM IS STILL BAD NEWS

2008-11-05T21:56:00.001-08:00

Most Americans might not really appreciate this, but the U.S. Constitution does not entitle anybody to health insurance. It's true. The Constitution does not require Congress to take money from those Americans who possess more and hand it over to those with less. It doesn’t even encourage Congress to subsidize farmers or pay for prescription medications. It just doesn't. In Article I Section 8, the Constitution does say: "The Congress shall have Power To lay and collect Taxes, Duties, Imposts and Excises, to pay the Debts and provide for the common Defence and general Welfare of the United States…" It goes on to talk about securing patents for scientists and establishing postal offices and roads and supporting armies and maintaining a navy. It says nothing about feeding all the downtrodden. There were plenty of poor people back in the days of the Founders, and they did not once mention using taxes to feed 'em. Apparently, providing for the general Welfare did include maintaining roads and hiring judges and keeping the peace, and did not include buying tuna fish for single moms. Does that mean we should let the poor starve to death? Should we leave our grandparents without support or health care? Of course not. It just was never supposed to be the federal government's job to take care of these things. Here's why: - Congress is not an industry. It does not produce anything that can be sold. It must take money from the people in order to pay for anything. - Governments are by nature wasteful. It's easy to overspend money when the funds come from somebody else’s hard work. - Governments are run by imperfect humans and are therefore subject to mismanagement. For this reason, it is best to keep them small and easily managed, with very specified responsibilities. - Governments are run by imperfect humans and are therefore subject to corruption. For this reason, it is best to keep them out of trouble by limiting their power. (Lobbyists and special interest groups could just go home were Congress kept within its constitutional limits.) - Bigger government means more bureaucracy, more government fingers in private lives, and less liberty. Socialism is corrupt by nature. As soon as Congress started taking money from taxpayers to give it to somebody else, the whole idea of private property was compromised. My property is not really mine if the government officials can stick me in jail for not giving some of it to them. As George Mason University economics professor Walter E. Williams wrote recently: "Whatever Congress wishes to give, it has to first take other people's money. Thus, at the root of the welfare state is the immorality of intimidation, threats and coercion backed up with the threat of violence by the agents of the U.S. Congress. In order for Congress to do what some Americans deem as good, it must first do evil. It must do that which if done privately would mean a jail sentence; namely, take the property of one American to give to another." But...if the federal government did not take care of poverty, of health care, of the elderly, then who would do it! Who would take care of all these things that need serious attention? We would, of course. We the people. We are caring for people every day in communities all across this great nation without any government involvement. Unfortunately, we Americans have gotten so spoiled, we're in danger of losing the ability to properly govern ourselves. We think that "freedom" means license to do whatever we want to do. We think that "general welfare" means adding on to that massive government feeding trough. As we have stopped obeying God's Word and controlling ourselves, as we have gone lax in caring for our own families, young and old, we have found ourselves in an increasingly deep hole, surrounded by a growing number of government officials, along with red tape and high taxes, and... the poor still with us. Let's get back to taking responsibility for ourselves, to doing what is right ourselves, and maybe we will find the federal government shrinking as a natural result.

government is an inherently inefficient beast

2008-11-05T21:45:00.000-08:00

Sometimes those of us who have been around awhile take too much for granted. I tend to assume, for instance, that most Americans understand socialism is an evil, immoral system of economics and government. But, then, occasionally, I'll get a letter from a young American who has been taught throughout his or her life that only the government can spread wealth fairly or that market economics is inherently corrupt. So, I guess it's time to get back to basics with an answer to the fundamental question: "What's wrong with socialism?" I like to begin this economics lesson with a few questions: * Do you believe in private property? * How would you feel if someone took yours? * Where has socialism ever succeeded? * What does the government do well? * What does the Bible have to say about economics? * What did America's founders have to say about economics? * Is socialism constitutional? I won't have time or space to deal with these questions in depth in this essay. However, I find the answers are often enough to persuade well-meaning moral people that socialism is a disaster. Most people believe in private property – especially their own. Most people don't like having their things stolen. In fact, it's government's job to protect you from theft, not to be the thief. Most people will be unable to point to a single successful socialist experiment – unless they choose some relatively new Western nation with a "mixed economy." Those include Canada, formerly Great Britain, France and other European countries. You could even include the U.S. in this category. It's important to recognize that mere survival as a nation over a period of time does not make for a successful experiment. Socialism, for instance, aims to eliminate or reduce poverty. In none of these nations has poverty been eliminated or reduced as a result of socialist experiments. Most people recognize that government is an inherently inefficient beast. What they might not recognize is that it is also poses the greatest threat to freedom. The more power it has, the less freedom individual citizens have. Government is a necessary evil – something that should be tolerated as a limited nuisance, not counted on for your basic needs. Most people don't realize the Bible countenances private property. It holds it up as honorable – as long as it does not become a diversion from God, as long as it does not become man's god. Most people apparently forget what our founders had to say about property. They forget that our Constitution expressly limits the power of the federal government. You could say constitutionally limited government is the opposite of socialism. But, as Barack Obama would say, these are "just words." And I am afraid mere words will not be enough to persuade anyone against mankind's innate desire to collectivize and rebel against God's order. So, as I predicted in my most recent book, "None of the Above," it will likely take some strong medicine to cure America of its infectious flirtation with socialism. I believe that medicine, believe it or not, is named Barack Obama. It's not that I wish this virus on Americans. In fact, I have done my personal best to awaken the country to his wiles and deceptions and immorality. But it has been to little avail. Americans have been duped. They have been conned through government education and mindless media and elitist manipulation to trade in their birthright of freedom for a mess of pottage. But their education is coming. It is not coming from me. It is coming from the inevitably failed policies of Barack Obama and his party over the next two years. It's going to be a painful awakening. Just wait until you see how expensive "free" health care really is. Just wait until you see how little wealth you have after he spreads it around. Just wait until you see what it's like to have to ask a government bureaucrat for permission to do things you once took for granted. That's what's wrong with socialism. People have to see it for themselves. They have to experience the misery and the control. They have to see it with their own eyes. Then, maybe then, we will have a chance to get America back on track. Then, maybe then, we will have enough courage and desire to fight to regain what we have lost. Then, maybe then, our experiences will protect us, for awhile, from the freedom-stealers. Then, maybe then, we will have enough sense to educate our young people as to the inherent evils of socialism – so they won't be fooled, again. http://www.wnd.com/index.php?pageId=79163

50

2008-09-29T10:51:00.001-07:00

so now I have finally reached 50. the question is usually "How does it feel?" But how I feel doesn't always relate to my age. For the last week, I have been unusally emotional and not due to my age. In contrast, my knees and back and hips have been unusally quiet for my age and I have been very happy about it! But I have been dealing with my chronic fatique. I've stopped all sweets for good. This keeps sugar from making me tired and the spices in sweets from causing my acid reflux from giving me flu-like symptoms. I am still tired and sometimes very tired but I am doing well. This also includes limiting fruits as eating them is like eating a candy bar for me.
The question keeps arising "What are the dreams and goals you hoped for?". and the answer is always the same: there is no answer. at 50, days are numbered and, though I feel it's not time to plan a funeral, it's not time to plan a wedding either. I find that it's more of planning and achieving than it is about dreaming and having goals. Therefore, the question is one I can't answer as I have no dreams nor goals except to stay liquid in these uncertain times. I do have goals such as saving money and making more prayer time but this question's "goals" is referencing to something more imaginary. To make it home in one piece each night to see my cats is enough. To continue my work with the persecuted church is vital.

"I quitted getting my hopes up"

2008-07-22T21:34:00.001-07:00

I realize that my depression stems from a final reservation that life was not worth living. There was nothing to look forward to except work,work,work - whether at work or at home. Home was neither a place of rest nor a refuse from the storm but a damn nightmare. I had nothing to look forward to. Even my paycheck wasn't something to look forward to as I knew it would get used up by the (ex)wife. There was no rewards working at a common job. I had no money for a new career move and couldn't start at the bottom again at another common job. I am glad I am not like that now. after 2 1/2 years of divorce, I feel better. But I still had those moments where I had no drive nor desire. Then it came out: "I quitted getting my hopes up". It made sense. That's when I was ready to just die. over and over, my hopes and dreams were crushed by reality. Our hopes and dreams really do help keep us alive. They help us to hang on. Do I have hopes and dreams now? some. I also have fear as well since I am getting older so it's not nor will ever be perfect. But I have found grace in Jesus Christ and I am very thankful to him for that. I have a peaceful home with 4 cats. just listening to dead silence is like listening to the rain.

Indeterdepence day

2008-07-04T06:45:00.000-07:00

Is Freedom the freedom to watch fireworks, barbecue, and go to movies? even socialists do the same. The US does enjoy freedom like no other country and many forces are trying like hell to wipe us out.

I am currently writing down my list of things to do today. I am very tired this morning. on the list is:
1)setup a one-part time management system. I seem to have too many parts.
2)setup a stand with the printer higher up. I have bad knees/back and the bending to the floor isn't helping.
3)setup networking for learning and A+ certification. I really don't need such a thing as well as the power drainage but I need hands-on experience. I also do need a file/print server.
4)setup Devils Linux as firewall,etc.
5)redo audio station to have a space for the new audio mixer. space is a problem.
6)Bible Study. have a (old) new desk that someone threw away that is perfect for this.
7) database for informational research. might be a software called Pliny or html-based.

. That's pretty much for now.

cleanup

2008-06-08T07:14:00.000-07:00

has begun. I have been throwing everything away that I'm not using right now. I can't believe how much I have collected thru the years that is just lying around. I will be working on the performance room soon (for video/audio work). I am hoping to setup a network file server to store all my research material. I haven't decided on what to use as the computer for it. This laptop I'm using could do (it's only a P2 333 Inspiron 3500) but I've been using it for email and basic stuff as it only uses 35W of electricity. my research computer has a 500W and it is energy saving but still don't need that much juice for basics. plus I can't watch videos, etc. on this so I'm not on the internet that much. However, it's small enough to use as a server with an USB external drive. trying to work out a html databased system is another story. If I do use a motherboard, it will be attached to a laptop cooler pad (this laptop has one).
I found a way to curb e-mail checking addiction. get a 3x5 index card and on top have columns with titles: date, time, total, spam, join, pers(for personal). write down the information each time you check ONLY your inbox (alot of spam still make it there). I find that I'm lucky if I get one personal a week. now I only check my e-mail once a day.

Earthquake Reno Nevada

2008-05-06T12:22:00.000-07:00

The 4.7 one at 11:40pm only lasted 15 seconds where I live. But other parts of Reno/Sparks endured it for much longer. alot of people couldn't sleep afterwards; I went back to bed. I guess an aftershock hit around 1:33am but I didn't feel it. But I have gone to extremes to make sure my home is earthquake safe. things are chained in cause some cannot be tied down and it does look tacky but, hey, I'm single so who cares. If it protects my cats, that's all that matters. But I still need to stock up on water and can goods - difficult to do when you have no car.
been meaning to write but been too busy. have taken several electric guitars and remodified them. actually, two of them (three all together) have their necks put together with pickups in the middle and the bodies in the trash. the other one is a modified pick-behind-the-strings version. still working on testing the final beta version of Ambiloop 1.70. gotta make a foot switchbox for it. I am almost done with CD1 of my improv stuff from 1979-1990 called Seceip Desivorpmi. It's basically historical documentation, not a "best of" album.
I have installed Ubuntu Linux 8.04 and I like it very well. I actually tried out the compiz effects including the cube as I have an advance video card in this machine. I liked the ability to switch to the different desktops and have turn all effects off except for the cube. I believe in practicality and eye-candy isn't one of them. I plan on doing Ubuntu Studio hopefully by saturday. I want to also link up with the respositores of studio 64 and musix+GNU but with updating disable. I hope to have the /home directory moved to a separate partition and having new software downloaded instead of installed right away. This way they can be backup onto a cd. I hope to have a 10 channel in/out audio card and a 12-channel mixer board. The 4 channel in/out will go in this one for final mixing down.
in GTD style, I've decided to go from putting documentation in binders to a banker box with hanging folders. I find that I can't find something so I end up reprinting it again. waste of money, ink, and time. This should work but a 43 folder system doesn't work for me. I need something simpler and will be working on that.
My next goal will be time versa money. not having a car, grocery shopping eats alot of time. nor do I want to use alot of money. this goal has the highest priority as I really want to get things done at home instead of using up all my weekends shopping.

currents

2008-04-03T22:33:00.000-07:00

just working away at work waiting for vacation time. pretty burned out. beta testing the new ambiloop looping software. there's alot going on so haven't written much. bed time.

were to begin...

2008-03-04T22:18:00.000-08:00

lately, I had been working on other people's computers. this has to stop It is preventing me from doing what I need to do: clean up my credit report. Experian tried a fast one on me. I'm just working on separating my ex-wife's charges after the divorce from my credit report. It's alot of work and alot of money spent on certified mail but I did get $75 taken off my record.
I got a $430 Acer flat screen monitor for $300. It's for audio computer. I spent a little time on it sunday but I've been applying my own GTD and am getting things I need done. I basically have a short list (what can get done quickly) and long list (longer ones). I'm spending alot more time throwing stuff away than anything. this reduces clutter and gives alot more room for projects.
this weekend (03/08-09/08) my mom came to visit on Saturday and I took advantage of her car to get $200 in groceries (mostly stocked up on alot of cat food/litter). It sure beats the bus system. Then, on Sunday, got to see the granddaughter. she's getting big and, unfortunately, grandpa's home is not baby-proof (and never will). she can get into everything but she is a good baby. however, one of my cats did not appreciate her grabbing onto his fur several times throughout the visit.
visited the media center and checked out the programming. errrr....I'm glad people are doing things but yuck! I would like to do more with SNCAT but not having a car is a drag when it comes to certain things. It just too hard carrying all that equipment home then back. would like to do something on Ubuntu.
brought Alesis Drum Pad USB/Midi Controller for drums. I actually have a new design for the epads as it has been put on hold due to a lack of progression. But, if it doesn't work out, I have backup instead of putting music projects on hold.

I've been gone but not away...

2008-02-08T13:20:00.000-08:00

more reporting from the-linux-report than from here. nothing new to report. just working on my own GTD system. Is it working? yes and no. better than maybe. hope to have master my CD of 1979-1989 solo improv stuff but we'll see. working on switching all computers at home to ubuntu linux.

Rezound

2007-12-29T19:58:00.000-08:00

is an excellent audio editor for linux. audacity is more powerful but Rezound has a better gui for me to edit. then I can shoot the file to audacity if I want. been playing with ubuntu (http://the-linux-report.blogspot.com/2007/12/ubuntu-linux.html).
slowly moving forward...

days off

2007-12-23T20:54:00.000-08:00

with 4 days off. countdown to Christmas! man, people have been in a bad/spooky/wierd mood. I think it's spending withdrawals. I got myself m-audio keystudio 25 with sessions software. last version of sessions I got was 1.0.3 and it was AWFUL! This time it's version 1.6 and much better! It actually works without freezing! I started composing univers zero style music. I think that may be one of my projects to work on. If I let the creative flow go, I won't have the motivation to try again. I've been thinking of redoing my audio work area but there's no way. space is limited. I need the test computer where it is to compile linux. each computer can be linked into the internet if I need to update ubuntu or go on-line and that's a plus. I've been watching the conspiracy theories videos. actually, it's pretty interesting. well, I've been lazy today so I better get to cleaning house.

wacky days

2007-12-04T21:51:00.000-08:00

a wierd snowstrom that wasn't called for in the weather forecast on friday, slick road and highway closed, UPS computer not dialing out at work, and my heater in my apartment goes out on a cold friday (and saturday) night. digging into surplus money for an electric heater on saturday. took today (tuesday) off and they have to order a part. It was an ordeal to go thru as there are politics going on with management (within themselves). a house divided will not stand. I'm hoping for clearer winds to sail this weekend.
I have been busy throwing away, cleaning house, and redesigning. space is limited so the frontroom conflicts with office and audio production. They both belong there but space is tight. I have trying out ubuntu linux but need to keep better notes.

my rules; my distro

2007-11-15T14:49:00.000-08:00

where do family, friends, and children think I have lots of money comes from? from moving to supporting, they need to get a grip on reality. or make me a donation worthwhile. My budget dictates how I live. My bills are paid before or on time. I live poorly but have a stable life. I am content. life is good.

End of a week

2007-10-21T07:54:00.000-07:00

well, vacation time is over. spend most of it catching up on cleaning house. currently, typing on my low-end laptop. this thing amazes me at how well it works and can go do things on the internet. yes, I'm spoiled now. still got too much clutter. the key is to import less, export (throwaway) more and stay organized. everything has its place.

working away...

2007-10-17T22:24:00.000-07:00

with a week off, I've been busy walking my butt off grocery shopping. It may be a bad winter this year so I'll stock up. would like to get some jugs of water too. I finally have the big closet clean. I got myself a new acoustic guitar. wasn't planning on it but felt from the Lord I needed it to deal with some healing. It only cost $99 +tax and plays beautifully. But I am rusty and old and so the story goes...just wish I didn't have to take nap breaks throughout the day. maybe I did this when I was younger but never knew it. fatigue...it sucks. I have to put in a new drive in my testing computer cause it almost crashed one night. since I do my budgeting on it, a bad thing to let happen. don't know when I'll get back to building linux from scratch. I basically have 3 ways to go. just haven't been motivated in that direction. more in cleaning house, getting rid of clutter. the key is to not take on any new debt, not to print anything up or bring something home that can just lie around at whatever spot you lay it at. everthing must have it's place. what a task! and the video computer is still not up. I put in the new dual-monitor video card but haven't booted it up yet. But I have been working on the epads and they are slowly shaping up. just gotta start videoing in the spare room while playing them. and find better drum wavs.

furthermore...

2007-09-26T12:21:00.000-07:00

The epads have been redone and, though more responsive, may not be longer lasting. rehearsal for the video to be done on them will take place in October. I am still working on linux and the darn tool chain crashes on glibc. grrrr...

been trying L-tyrosine for chronic fatigue/depression but doesn't work well with the vitamin C and B6. works better alone and at 1000mg 3 times a day. the darn stuff is expensive. But I've noticed in myself and in others that we're all bi-polar. The next time you have a bad time, ask yourself when was your last good day. "every high has a low". and, if you are having a really bad day, then a couple of days ago, you have a really good day. The more "up" your good day was, the more "down" your bad day will be. kinda like the waves on the ocean. L-tyrosine seems to help taper those mood swings except I don't feel it working today. I just started using the vitamins and was taking it twice a day so I'm going back to just the plain pill 3 times a day.

burning the candle at both ends

2007-09-05T13:13:00.000-07:00

Got the computer systems upgraded - helps in getting old parts for dirt cheap. The spare room is now the music/video room but isn't setup. I have a terrible sinus infection that is knocking me down. That's what I get for staying up late and getting up early. got some new time management tools that I "think" will work. only time will tell. learning the bells and whistles of hardware/software land will not be fun. I just got a midi 1X1 in/out port box but there's a label on the back cover of the manual that says the product may cause lead poisoning and to wash your hands after touching. welcome to the 21st century!

surf's up

2007-08-24T14:07:00.000-07:00

been cleaning house-getting rid of the clutter so I can get the studios in gear. phase one of linux completed except for compaing it with updated/necessary additions. then to do a final test on it. here's hoping... phase two should't be so bad. once done, will have a shiny dos-like environment, only more powerful than dos. Then I'll put it some additives to the mix.
hope to master the next cd soon-free improv 1979-89. It's more a historical thing. I need to clean out the spare room and get the music equipment going. been messing with the webcam. could use a faster computer but still pretty cool.

vacation break

2007-08-12T21:47:00.000-07:00

after 8 months, I finally get a vacation. the first task at hand is house cleanup. way too much clutter. second is my newly built homemade computer (photos soon). third, start compiling my linux. ok, the list goes on from there. spring cleaning is the main goal, though. alot is going on; just haven't had the time to sort thru it all. more later...

Things change as uncertainities changes...

2007-07-09T12:11:00.000-07:00

My next door neighbor, Misty, is now settled in washington state, working on getting custody of her granddaughter, who was badly abused by daughter and boyfriend. Usually, it's strange for things to change and yet I have been used to abrasive changes throughout my life. I couldn't cope with change after my separation/divorce but I'm better now. I realized that I was numb from pain (and constantly being bombarded with more pain kept the numbness there) but, as the numbness fades, the pain comes rushing through like a flood and horrible it is. It is very important to stay focus and keep your chin up or the violent emotional waters will surely kill you or you might find yourself crashed on worst soil than where you started. Now I ache but, occasionally, God in his grace and mercy, will show me just how far I've come. If only I could figure where I'm going. Yes, heaven-bound, but I'm to tarried till Jesus comes for me.

I have worked with the epads but to no avail. I will be working on new drum loops as well as using a regular keyboard to trigger. I will be trying softwear as well (pun intended). I will be considering putting the epad motherboard into a different case but these cases are very pricey. I will be putting together my internet computer into one of these cases. I have yet to decide whether it'll be laptop-ish design or not as I have a LCD monitor to go with it. I am slowly pushing myself ahead but did I mention "push"...oh, yes, I did. so many are active and energetix while I tend to feel sluggish.

where to start

2007-06-29T13:41:00.000-07:00

It's not a matter of starting; it's a matter of being apathetic to starting. It's the problem of creating a starting point; not about what to do. I have yet to find that place of activity that has evaded me. For years, I was ready but couldn't because I was raising a family. But now single, I find tireness and lack of interest v.s. desires are engaging in internal warfare. I'm just not there yet investing in life. I need to move forward but the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. Projects are not happening quick enough. I have put my life on hold as inventory was proceeding at work. now that is past, I can work hopefully on these things. But I have not found a system of approach that is quite working for me. PIM's, calendars, etc. are sorta what I want yet missing. They all have their plus and minus in planning. just haven't found the right tools. my mom told me that her and dad had to get special shoes for me when I was around 2 years old cause I couldn't walk. she said you could put these shoes on the floor and they would rock back-n-forth. But when they put them on me, I took up walking and ran like hell. maybe I'll find those baby shoes I need one day and can stop crawling in my life.

in the works...

2007-06-18T14:21:00.000-07:00

working on a collection of my old cassette pieces, with each CD covering a section of years. they will either have titles or be named after the years. I won't know until the CD's are completed and the covers are worked on. I might take a cover + title from the period.

worked on playing the epads yesterday. basic drum patterns. the pads may have to be redone as they are losing their strength. the pads may have to be re-design. it lacks what I envisioned it to have. good to experiment with but lacking as a tool for live performance.

various updates

2007-06-12T16:26:00.000-07:00

I added 2 new switches to the floor part of epads. I need to go thru all my wav files and scaled them down. very time-consuming.

I have started to record my old improv guitar stuff onto computer. what will come out of this depends on what I end up with. I plan to do newer stuff but don't know when or really what direction to go in. don't really want to replay the past.

Linux scripts are taking time. no hurry as this month is pretty much booked up. It's basically the "untar & cd (directory)" part that needs to be done for each file.

XP keeps dying so I've been using myslax creator to create a live CD to boot up on. It's fast! now if only audio and printing would work. sigh....

work in progress

2007-06-03T10:55:00.000-07:00

the scripts for compiling my own linux hit a snag but I was able to work it out using another linux distro with an updated midnight commander on it. with nano or wordpad in windoze, you don't see everything in highlighted syntax and I was trying various stuff to no avail till I ran mc and saw my mistake. I knew it had to do with linking to the temp directory with the newly compiled bash but couldn't see why. now that the typing error is found, it's mostly going thru all the scripts and making sure that everything else is typed properly. Then trying each script out individually and then writing one script to activate it all. and the whole $CFLAGS has been worked out as I was running into too many variations with explainations on it.

I found a planner template someone designed and then modified it but they did a good job. I now set my time by "blocks of time" (by hour blocks) and, when that block is over, I quit what I'm doing and move on. It forces me to quit wasting time (I hope).

There's a new beta version of Core Linux so will have to try it out. hopefully, they have shadow patched correctly but I can still fix that.

Linux fixes for core linux 2 and Ubuntu Studio

2007-05-19T22:16:00.000-07:00

will be at anuxux (click "mj's linux page" link in left panel). been working with my m-audio delta 44 soundcard, talk about a learning curve plus need a pre-amp or something for the electric guitar. maybe it's time to built a computer as a guitar software effects rack. Hmmmm...

Dr. David Mar MD

2007-05-18T15:28:00.000-07:00

I just found out that my beloved doctor who has been primary physician to my 2 daughters, ex-wife, and myself is no longer practicing medicine. The office won't say too much except he's not practicing and that he didn't necessarily retired. I saw him last year and he said they was no way he could retire. I've been blessed to have some really good doctors but He was the best and will sorely be missed. He really cared about his patients and his advice was always sound. He didn't try to pump you on the crazy meds out there and was a very good listener to his patient's concerns. He was the family's doctor since 1995. If only more doctors were like him. God Bless, Dr. Mar.

Core Linux 2

2007-05-18T15:23:00.000-07:00

The update to core linux, which is a minimal base linux system is available here. From it, you start compiling the rest of your system. This new version is created using the documentation from diylinux.

Ubuntu Studio

2007-05-13T18:42:00.000-07:00

I check their site and they were ready (and so was I)! So I downloaded the iso and went to burn it. Grrrr...nothing would do it cause the error that a cdr was needed instead of a dvd kept popping up. I hope it doesn't become a trend of linux distros that you need a 90mins CDR as they don't carry them in my area. no attempts to change the boot id worked. delete it. went back to web page. huh???? it's down? they completed it and now they're down? just found out that it's due to alot of traffic on their web site. downloaded it thru bittorrent and it worked as a dvd burn.

now the Installation: It took a normal set of time to setup. It boots fine except all the software seems slow compared even with some live CD. ardour is version 2 (cool!) but slow. Audacity did fine and jack worked. I'm keeping it for now as it has other software I didn't know about but I think the lack of speed is due to the video driver and xwindows. I might re-do the installation and add more video modes and see how it runs. It's a 250gb sata 133 drive so it should be cruising. The computer is a P3 933 with 384mb ram. This may not sound alot but this board has always had more "kick" than other P3s I have, even at 256mb ram. It will soon have 512 in it but it runs live CDs and XP with no problems. I also finally got a drive with puredyne docked on it but wished it worked with XFS instead of reiserfs as I heard XFS to be better. the problem with puredyne/dynebolic is there's no SATA compiled in the kernel so had to put it on a smaller, slower drive but puredyne runs faster than Ubuntu Studio (and I'll skip the recompile-the-kernel approach for later). But I will say "Good Job Done!" as I really do feel they have put alot of effort into it.

working on testing each linux bash scripts for making my own and already hit a snag with the environment setup. crashed root in pnut linux. well, it was only alpha (3) but I must admit it runs fast, though the desktop is a bit unstable. yes, I am going at linux head first but I'm a dumb newbie so I don't care. The more I know, the better off I'll be in the long run. wish I felt better. sinux infection hurting lungs. wierd that I have one in such warm weather. anyways, now back to $CFLAGS.

UPDATE 05/18/07: I installed it on a P4 2.0 cpu with 512mb rambus memory and it flew pretty good on install except no video on booting up. will reformat and try again.

How things change as uncertainties changes

2007-05-08T19:56:00.000-07:00

that's a great title to an old chip handy improv guitar cassette tape (I call it an album). gotta put it on CD soon.
As I was watching my neighbor leave to go on a plane to washington state, it made me felt like I was watching her leave for college. In the year and 1/2 since my divorce, things has rapidly changed. It seems to go with today's times. The days of old were slower pace, with someone moving about every 20 years but not today. Everything is rapidly moving forward, just as revelation said it would. Jesus says in 1:1 "must shortly come to pass" and that word "shortly" in greek means rapidly, quickly. God has already has forseen this age of rapid developments, which eventually is going to spiral out-of-control.
on the linux side of things, the scripts are basically down except for working out the untaring part of files and startup scripts plus extra libraries and choosing a desktop.

many things to do today...

2007-05-06T07:57:00.000-07:00

yesterday was an uneventful day... very slow. I did go to community TV station to download epad tutorial I filmed a month ago from dv tape to external hard drive. It was a slow capturing process. I almost got the linux scripts completed. They are below-par for normal linux hackies but perfect for this newbie's state of linux. I tried to understand all the different people's makefiles, only to come back to this place: I understand a simple bash shell script better. If this was for show, it would be different. I'll probly end up breaking terrible rules of linux but, if I get the type of system that I can be productive on, it doesn't matter.

For today, ear rubs. then get backpack ready for work tomorrow, load dishwasher, change litter in both cat boxes, clean bathtub, clean out and organize bookcases, work on an installation method for my linux (untaring files, etc), some audio/video stuff. will have to see how the day goes. I do things by the Charles Swab way: write down the 5 top things and do them in that order and don't go to the next one till the first is completed. It really works for me.

My Distro; My Rules

2007-05-04T22:10:00.000-07:00

started on the build scripts for compiling my own linux, based off of DIYLinux and LFS. would include byolinux but it's rather old and yet I have it for reference. The installation process has to be worked out. I hope to do small test runs with the first real "full" test run at the end of May.

Record High

2007-04-28T22:11:00.000-07:00

82 today and it's only april! didn't get everything I wanted done today due to grocery shopping. Because I have no car and have to take the bus system, it's 90% walk and 10% bus. tomorrow, I work on bible prophecy. man, it's getting close!

Sunday April 29th, 2007

finishing up cleaning house that I started last night. whew! only a beginning...slowly starting a routine but got alot of grounds to cover. my video card went out last night but I'm back. good to have spare junk (sometimes). but back to housecleaning.

Housecleaning

2007-04-22T19:52:00.000-07:00

Saturday was a hair-tearing day at the community TV station as I fought to get my videos on the epads from DV tape to external hard drive. The video wouldn't show so the computer had to be rebooted. Then there was constant crsashing transfering the video. XP...Grrrrr. otherwise, Sunday was cleaning but the different cleaners mixed to a toxic brew that I got to a very serious point of feeling posioned. As I researched on the internet, I would say I had an asthma attack. And I could taste all those chemicals. So I kept breathing in ALOT of fresh air and drank ALOT of water and I'm feeling better now. Thank God!
started on the linux scripts for making my own distro. It's based on DIYlinux with some taken from LFS. don't know about BYOlinux scripts yet.

angry old soul

2007-04-18T12:29:00.000-07:00

don't know why but there's been alot of anger inside. part I percieve as frustration; part in defense of others trying to take away from new-found freedom; part from knowing how to make a living but unwilling to let the living take away my life (like in the past). I stay in prayer, trying to figure out "why am I so angry?!" but the truth is veiled for now. I won't be getting the epads videos onto external hard drive till next month. But I have my 500GB coming in today and I should be set except for working on linux and reformating XP cause of the crsahes. alot of house work ahead...

missing a rocket booster or two

2007-04-15T09:23:00.000-07:00

Once I get started on a project, I gain momentum but it's that initial start that is always a problem, like dragging my feet. seems like one of my rocket boosters aren't igniting properly. I am currently filming my epads for access TV and then I'll film for youtube. yesterday was the tutorial and today is improv to fill out the rest of the 30 mins. show. still gotta re-do my video computer. spring cleaning. no, undo the damage micro$oft has started (hehe). I will be starting on checking out linux abilities towards video. It's a bit of testing the waters. I am a bit slow today cause I'm sick. There's a viro going around and I have it. I'm glad I have tomorrow off, as long as work doesn't call me (cell phone off). I need a day off to return equipment, etc. not exactly a day of rest but it is a day off.

testing the waters...

2007-04-10T11:46:00.000-07:00

I am testing (still) more linux distro. 'dynebolic' is now at 2.4.2 but the video part does not work. It's usually due to the distro using xorg and I'm using ati/nvidia cards. I tried version 1.4.1 and it worked. tried 'video linux'(again) and it works pretty good but installing to a hard drive crashed. 'Musix+GNU linux' works pretty good but version 0.99 crashed after installing onto hard drive. version 0.791b worked good but it won't even attempt the hard drive install. But it runs pretty fast from the cdrom drive.'pnut linux' runs good and desktop is fast but crashes.
This weekend, I'll be filming the epads video tutorial-one for access TV and the other for youtube.

ok, I'm bored now...

2007-04-02T00:15:00.000-07:00

couldn't sleep...no, can't sleep...work has been so hectic, so "on your mark,get set,GO!!!" that I don't look forward to going back. But it is getting better... hopefully, a small break from the storm. this weekend just went...saturaday, I did some grocery shopping then veggietated for hours till I did some looping on the epads. just need the right wav files. asio4all drivers plus a trick up my sleeve did the trick on making quality sounds without any popping noise. again, I'm thinking how can this evolve (and it can). redo the foot area so I can loop those wavs while playing others on top. found my CD of improv I did 2 years ago (then misplace the CD...[sigh]). I added a 300gb hard drive to the video computer that already has 250GB HD and then I'll add a 500GB and that should be enough for windoze/linux. The video capture computer now has the external firewire 160GB HD and that should do well. was to put together the scripts for my linux DIY os but I flaked out. I've been cleaning things out again. I do have a habit of printing things out vs reading the PDF. old fashioned, I guess...gotta stop inputing more than I can throw away. actually, if I print, put it right away into a binder. I bought 3-hole paper and I didn't know it was so cheap in price that I would've bought it long time ago. This would keep it from cluttering up the room. except for alot of binders. read some bad poetry on myspace. well, everyone was raving to the artist about it. yep, I'm bored now...scotty, beam me up; there's no creative life here...

Dark Matter

2007-03-18T00:17:00.000-07:00

Scientists have been working on trying to figure out what that dark matter is in space. I have a far-fetch theory: If we see the planet/solar system as musical notes (and cloud gases as such as musical "noise"), then the dark matter would represent silence. just a theory as I see a correlation between free improvisation and the laws of our universe. there's alot of possibilities here; it's just having the time to put them in practice.
Alas! myslax creator is not available. Could it be another great linux gone? this is why I want to create my own. otherwise, I spent the day dyeing my hair blonde, watching 'spiderman 2' (for the great special effects) and 'blair witch project' (because it's a low-budget independent film and I've never seen it before). It wasn't really scarey but they would've been alright if they didn't throw away the map, knew how to use a compass, etc. the actors should get credit as well for the script since it was improv by them. then I moved on to finishing up my audio computer with free audio stuff and stuff I brought (I sure have alot of homework ahead). I then did some house cleaning. It's bedtime now.

where to begin?

2007-03-16T12:34:00.000-07:00

there's just too much going on that the blog falls down the list. cleaning house, reading various stuff, working on computers for looping and audio work. although it doesn't seem like I'm busy, I am. I got a new soundcard and much more professional than creative- a m-audio delta 44. The main reason is to use it with ardour. I have to get stuff together to do a video on my homemade drums for access tv and internet. But, at work, it has been extremely busy so home life has been at a comfortable pace but not slow. after a year and a half from my divorce, my depression and exhaustion is gone and I find myself at a very nice "normal" level. I don't take 10 mini-naps on the weekend anymore. I found (before all this) that, when I'm hungry and don't eat, I get a burst of energy-like alot of cups of coffee at once- but one has to learn at what point to eat a very "small" but nutritious piece of food before the "let-down" or one start getting (very) sick. By eating very small meals inbetween large gaps of time, I have more energy and feel better. and I only drink 1/2 cup of coffee a day (compare with 4 cups in the past). now this place that I'm at is really different, strange. not strange as in wierd; strange as normal. It's at the emotional/mental level. I've been having physical problems and nerve pain so this is greatly needed. it's like having a postive outlook on things despite these on-going difficulties. me? negative me?? "glass half-empty" me??! wow! what others take for granted, I call a godsend. I am blessed! wow! normal!! wow!!!

The Battle belongs to the Lord

2007-02-19T21:05:00.000-08:00

...hmmm...don't know why but in a slump. go figure. sat. was a slow start but a better finish. sunday was a good stretch but the darn capture computer would just freeze up at login. took 5 hours to fix. got a green screen set-up. today just isn't my day. too emotional. been feeling to wierd lately but it's undefined and just wierd. there was alot of stress last week so I did feel borderline panic attack. so what. part depression part humdrum part apathetic. and I hate this place. I got the e'pads all set in the spare room where the green screen is and I have yet to put loops together for it. I'm gonna use the video capture computer for loops and recording drums then use the studio in the front room for everything else. because I don't yet have a stereo system for the spare room, I have to use headphones. There's just not enough room for the e'pads in the front room. Then I actually thought of destroying all this work cause I could always get 3 kids drumpads machines and put them on the stand. One for left channel, one for right, and the middle would be both except circuit-bended. The power consumption would probly be lower. But my e'pads can use wav sounds those can't come close to and eventually I will incorporate those kids electronic drumsets into the e'pads (hopefully they break apart easily). It's like I'm defeating myself at succeeding but why? must this broken record continue like this? I've made great strides in my life but not without several cat-naps a day. maybe because I went to bed at 12:45am and got up at 6am? I don't think so. got to see the granddaughter; that was good. The cats have been a big help as they know when I'm going through this. gotta keep fighting on...

Post Mortum: It really was a good weekend despite this other side of me clashing inside. The cats got alot of deserved attention that I haven't been able to give them lately. I am progressing but I find another side warring inside of me. things seem to go at a snail pace. I'm always so tired emotionally. taking several short naps on my days off is wrong. it's not about being tired but despondent. I can get things done physically but I lack emotionally/mentally. such skills I've gone without because I've been doing physical work all these 21 years. "We've learned to make a living but not a life". I also lose sight of the forest from the trees. "oh wretched man that I am!" But Praises be to my Lord Jesus Christ.

The Wailing Wall

2007-02-17T12:38:00.000-08:00

I have in my front room what I call my "wailing wall"- a construction of many several pieces of white cardboard to equal a big cardboard poster filled with many, many quotes-from the Word of God (Bible) to quotes from those in time management, forums, various can't-rememeber-where web sites, and robert fripp. all these quotes have a purpose - to keep me level-headed. as each day presents itself with decisions to make, I stare at these as I contemplate my actions. in a multitude of counselors, there is wisdom. of course, this presents a source of embarrassment to the rest of the family and friends. I actually started taping them to the wall but I realize a new paint job would require taking them down. one day, I'll re-do them on a single,large sheet.

I now must commence with the e'pads. I've been attacking this poorly. dragging my feet. I realize that I need easy access and have things pre-setup. is it lazyness on my part? I would answer "yes" and yet there's something else here that is dragging me down. I now have a commerical licence to use krystal audio engine and am waiting for my personal "key" to run guitarfx. This is so I can be creating while working on linux scripts. one is to compile a low latency kernel and there are 3 I can choose. the other will be working with myslax creator. Ubuntu Studio is coming out april 2007 and I will take a look into it. dynebolic works good but xorg doesn't like my video cards. I have given my 4 cats alot of love, attention, and ear rubs. They are content, sleeping away. back to work...

And the beat goes on...

2007-02-16T12:15:00.000-08:00

still working out a 3-day weekend (I get monday off). I got the new e'pads computer done; just got to work on wav files. I plan to trial-and-error Hydrogen, an excellent drum/beat software. Then use krystal audio engine for multitracking. I might buy a commerical license until I can get linux going, which is still alpha: scripts need to be written for basic compile. I haven't found any distro that meets my audio/video needs and I feel too many are over-bloated that advertize they are for those purposes. Do we really need chat, IM, and games (for example)? The other part is that these computers don't go the internet and they never will but, to add software or updates, they have to. And, if these distros disappear (they are usually self-funded by the author), you're screwed on updating. If a software updates, you can't move on with it. My only problem comes with benchmarking: how to use them and how to read them. Linux requires a brain to create; windows requires ignorance and bliss (and alot of eye-candy).

Plans are now to also start on the e'pads building video. I have a green screen to try out (choosen as I wear alot of blue clothing) and I hope to put a video up here on making your own. or I could upload to youtube, which may be the best. I have thought about getting a battery for the vhs camera but I am still debating. the last battery lasted 5 minutes. these old vhs cameras take Excellent footage but finding workable batteries are hard. I need it to work on my long-term project (one that I've been dwelling on for 5 years now) of documenting the sufferings of outdoor stray cats.

But the main struggle is still me. I still have this inability to drive myself at home v.s. work. Part of it could be due to my bad knees/stiff body. It just doesn't want to get up and the rest of me follows suit. we'll see.

Linux Videos

2007-01-27T22:54:00.001-08:00

Here is the link. and be NICE with the information here. You CAN get yourself into alot of trouble.

cleaning house.

2007-01-21T22:13:00.000-08:00

yesterday was slow going as I was researching hilary clinton's socialists views after she declared her presidency. In 1995, she actually went to china for a women's conference and declared how great their system was. hmmm...the nation with the worst human rights record receiving praise from someone that wants to run this country? only if she gets herself neuter first. hey, just don't want any problems like last time. The rest of the day was getting the spare bedroom ready for video work. Today, I was more up-to-speed but with only 2 objectives: fix/repair my amp. equipment that I use to play noise live (12:30pm-5:30pm) and finalize the motherboards to use for ambiloop looping software.

Paradox

2007-01-14T13:50:00.000-08:00

The paradox of our time in history is that:
* We have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints.
* We spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy less.
* We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time.
* We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgement, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.
* We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.
* We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
* We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
* We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life.
* We’ve added years to life not life to years.
* We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbour.
* We conquered outer space but not inner space. We’ve done larger things, but not better things.
* We’ve cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul.
* We’ve conquered the atom, but not our prejudice.
* We write more, but learn less.
* We plan more, but accomplish less.
* We’ve learned to rush, but not to wait.
* We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.
* These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships.
* These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes.
* These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throw away morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill.
* It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom.
* A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.
* Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.
* Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn’t cost a cent.
* Remember to say, “I love you” to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.
* Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.
* Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
from http://www.jonathanthorpe.net/?page_id=436

3 days grace

2007-01-13T22:21:00.000-08:00

3 days off... started with laundrymat pipes frozen due to someone leaving the door open here in the apartment complex so it was a long walk down to a laundrymat (in 7F degree weather). felt super-colder walking back, even with the sun up. My daughters came over with oldest's huband, mother-in-law, and Granddaughter. yes, I held the granddaughter, though I have back problems lately that made me slow to the idea. everyone thought I didn't want to but that was not the case. I also put up pictures in picture frames of the granddaughter taken the day she was born and they are nicely hanging on my frontroom wall for all to see. My friend, Gary, needs everyone's prayers- he's having medical problems and we're both hoping it's not serious. My youngest cat, Kyle, has an eye infection so I'm keeping an eye on him. I am trying to capture/make a dvd using wintv pvr-150 card. making a DVD seems harder than an audio cd. I bought the card because it works great in Linux, which I am slowly moving into (finally!). I have the last memory chip and a replace DVD burner coming from newegg.com and should be here by next friday. then it's a 3.0 cpu with 4gb ram. I hope to start playing e'pads and audio recording tomorrow. I hope. My kitchen faucet is leaking and I hope to get it replaced on monday. I think that's it for now.

e'pads computer box

2007-01-05T22:27:00.000-08:00

Here is the link to my e'pad computer box.

I am now a Grandpa.

2006-12-31T23:43:00.000-08:00

Jadeyn Ivory Rebecca Bratton was born 12/27/2006 at 12:28am. She's a beautiful baby.
I have had 10 days off for a vacation and I go back to work on tuesday. I have accomplished really nothing. well, the epads computer is done but I don't have the ftp address to upload it. I am compiling mygeos console right now as the full version x-windows wouldn't work on my computer. I hope to put xfree86 on as it uses xorg and I know xfree better. I've been playing around with myslax and having it boot from hard drive. I plan to be using linux 50%/windows 50% by the end of 2007 but it may be 80%/20% by the time I am done. mostly windows will be used for is audio/video studio work until I get better with linux. I tried 64studio linux and it ran good but wasn't impressed and jack server kept crashing. I installed openoffice on alinux 12.6 (and it took some figuring out) but its been working really good (don't like kde spreadsheet). I have openoffice on myslax but the fonts come out wierd so gotta work on that. and I gotta work out making better use of my time when I'm home. of course, using the bus system makes it harder. I went to the store tonight and it took a hour and a half where a car would be 30 mins. oh well, can't afford a car. in fact, I hate being broke.

Planning ahead

2006-12-17T01:00:00.000-08:00

There are things to work on: my new memory is due monday and I have to send out a money order for a yochk'o seffer cd. I should be asleep right now but I can't sleep. I have been feeding outside cats and it just snowed today a good 4 inches. I hope they are ok. I wish I could take them in but I already have 4 cats in my apartment. I wish someone would adopt them but that is hoping for way too much. I need to make them an outside fort except it would be found by maintance people or destroyed by the kids here. don't know what to do. It's not fair that they have to die just because they were born.
I have been slowly cleaning up and throwing away stuff but I am not getting very far. have setup a sorta GTD folder system, hoping to find a place for everything. have a long way to go. hope to make more progress tomorrow (errr..., I mean, today). I have now alinux 12.6 with openoffice to do my spreadsheets on. I might go and work on that. I plan on starting on myslaxcreator and have that one, too. But I really feel that I'm gonna have to go with linux from scratch as I need to know the "guts" of what I'm working with. Mygeos is very good except it's dead as far as a project and there's no way to upgrade past what it has. I have some of his scripts to try and understand. even dynebolic linux was rewritten from the ground up using lfs. But I have no idea when I will start. only that I will be using 50% linux and 50% windows by the end of next year. I seem to be off to a good start.
I have gone over-budget for christmas but not alot of junk, except for the cd (last one in stock, so I decided to get it). my goal next year is to save,save,save by living off of 13,000 a year. There are personal reasons involved, which will become clearer as I continue on, which can be painfully slow and torturous. or that's how it seem.
on a sad note, my co-worker's mom (who's 81) is dying with only 5-10 days left. on a good note, my oldest daughter should have her baby in 5 to 10 days. one life ends, one life begins.

Time is ticking away...

2006-12-05T15:07:00.000-08:00

but my time spent in time-management books are slowly paying off. of course, not all applies and the six sigma is very valuable. on the e'pads deal, there's an annoying static sound when a key is intially pressed. I tried other keyboards/sound cards/computers and its the software. I've used the software with no problems before so don't know why this is happening or maybe I hadn't noticed. There's another one I can try but I like the first one's interface better. And my march into Linux country has its ups and downs. I'm using alinux but I want open office but there are problems when running the rpms- missing libraries. I'll have to download the hugh source code and see if I can compile it from scratch. I definitely want a 'mygeos' linux except with the latest lfs stuff. something to do during christmas.

e'pads

2006-12-02T00:42:00.000-08:00

that's the final name for the electronic drum set I'm almost finished with. The computer part is almost done, depending on how this weekend goes. aside from my landlord trying to downsize me to an one-bedroom apartment, a school friend of my kids going up for murder and child abuse for the death of his seven-week-old baby, and (on the same day) my neighbor's daughter almost getting rape by two men, I look forward to a more peaceful weekend for the time being. I have some laundry to do in the morning then finish wiring the computer up and hooking up the pads. just gotta find my cd of wavs.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2006-11-23T22:01:00.000-08:00

It's been a good one and the 1/2 of port-of-subs sandwhich was an excellent dinner (I hate to cook). My daughters and son-in-law came to see me and I talked with a neighbor and her daughter. I then setup the christmas tree for the cats but only 1/2 of the lights are working so I hope to buy some tomorrow. been listening to messeanic group 'Lamb' (not the rock/pop one). perfect thanksgiving music, even if it's jewish.

Dell 10, mj zero

2006-11-19T22:04:00.000-08:00

I finally put a dell gx110 in a small office depot nice black box with silver chome trimming, only to end up having one problem after another. part of it was my fault as I accidently put in a board that needed rambus memory. I do have a board with rambus but not for that board. I worked on it till 2:45am this morning and got up at 6:40am to start the day. I'm burned out. That board that does have the rambus memory is going in there next weekend. apparnetly, Dell doesn't like a pci tv card and a soundcard, preferring the video & sound that is on the motherboard. and I thought I would be drumming this weekend. sigh...
Update: had a new board but decided to wait till I find what I did with that darn athlon cpu. so I'll probly use that for the looping. so I'm trying a pentium III board that uses rambus memory but it won't boot. never fear! I have a hammer near by. just hope I can be playing b4 christmas.

Current Affairs

2006-10-30T12:20:00.000-08:00

3 days off (due to nevada day) and I'm exhausted! a very through cleaning of the bathroom, kitchen, and frontroom. and there's still more to do! I haven't gotten to the bathroom tub or walls (a major undertaking) and I still have my room to do. The refrigerator needs to be defrosted and cleaned up. I've thrown away alot but have alot more to go. The highlights:
10/27/2006
8:30AM mygeos linux started (it starts up very fast but its only at a basic level for now)

9:30AM finishing up wailing wall (basically, a collection of quotes to keep me focus, like "I will learn to manage myself", "Things that matters most must never be at the mercy of that which matters least", etc. I had them taped to the wall but now I have them taped to poster board.

2PM-3PM clean bathroom

3:30PM-6PM clean out big closet

6-11PM work on internet computer. I built it into a small plastic box. I need a small computer that uses low-watt power supply to keep my internet connection alive. It's a PIII550 with 128 mb ram and 3gb hard drive. The power supply is 145 watts compare to 235 on my main one. This way, my main machine can be used for budget cuts and bible prophecy research and turned off when no longer needed. It has 3 monitors on it for researching/study but I have yet to put together all the various software on it yet. I need this smaller P3 cause I have ADSL internet and you have your ip address as long as you are on. But, the moment you're off then you decide to go back on, you have reconnection problems. And I have been having ALOT for a month right now. The internet PIII was out of memory this morning after its trial run thru the night so I'll put on it 256mb ram and a different HD as the old one is making too much noise and I'm getting file errors. Plus needed air flow for cooling. If I can get pictures of it, I will. I finally got my USB working on my main machine going- I simply didn't have the drivers loaded! I thought I had used up all my resources due to having 3 monitors.

10/28/2006

6:50AM-9AM 3 loads of laundry (I was lucky to get this done, living in an apartment complex!)

12:30PM - compile mygeos kernel

5PM-7PM worked on cleaning spare bedroom

7PM-10:20PM helped neighbor with mouse problem (it was never found but its bathroom breaks were)

10:20PM - started finishing up internet computer (putting on OS, firewall, anti-virus)

1:45AM bed
10/29/2006

8:30AM-11AM cleaned frontroom also worked on internet computer off and on.

I also setted up my music studio in the frontroom but was getting frustrated with Music Creator 3. what was on the outside of the box wasn't coming out onto the screen. This is a very brief highlight of a rather tiring weekend. Plus there was alot of throwing away old computer stuff (I tend to keep stuff "just in case" and I also work on other people's stuff but it leads to too much). It should lead to a "less is more" lifestyle that can promote creative music efforts. It gives the small apartment alot of "breathing space" that clutter can rob.

Drumstand

2006-10-19T11:51:00.000-07:00

The link is here.

So you wanna be a poop star?

2006-10-03T13:31:00.000-07:00

don't ya wanna be a poop star? sure, everybody wants to be a poop star! To be so full of crap and make money at it, whooo! spotlight please!
I had an emerging thought but the conversation left me with a violent migraine....
I changed my myspace to a music myspace. Those who had links to me will have to relink, so I hope to do that soon. I have to still work on the coloring and my one mp3 hasn't been approved yet. I will also be doing video blogs but I have no timetable yet. Right now, I finished the basis for the drumstand for the drumpads and its slowly taking off. Pictures will be coming shortly.

Is there really any life out there?

2006-09-17T08:36:00.000-07:00

We all put on info out there but does anybody really read our stuff? probly not. can't believe I haven't written since Aug. 8th. well, got a tooth pulled last tuesday afternoon. just turned 48 last thursday and am now ready for top dentures - well, I'm getting there. eating hasn't been easy with so many missing top teeth that sometimes I just don't eat. This can also happen if I'm under alot of stress. One of my cats got shaved cause his fur was so messed up. My poor baby - now he looks like a french poodle! alot has been happening. I got a battery pack for my VHS camcorders so I could take outdoor shots and now it won't run the camera. I finished the encore DVD class but can't afford the software. I am still looking into using linux apps for some of my video work. I am still looking into creating my own linux but I am still ironing out the details. I think linux from scratch would take too long but not completely impractical. Mygeos linux basically builds a LFS linux on your computer and sets you up but the kernel came up zero bytes twice so I must be doing something wrong. Plus it takes about 2 1/2 days to compile. The second options is to remodify an existing one. The problems I'm facing is that some linux web sites are gone, like Mygeos. The second is package managers - every distro has their own "flavor". This presents problems when it comes to upgrading as my machine won't have internet access and, if the web site is gone, can't upgrade thru their package manager and server. I also made my mind up that I'm doing this for me. I need a linux that meets my needs; not put out another distro. The time in upgrading it for others would be impossible for me time-wise and I don't always feel it needs to be upgraded all the time. I still haven't found reliable performance testing on linux and that's a big issue. I've found dynebolic linux 2.1 very impressive but the web site is down. I'll be using some of it for my video work as you create a "nest" on your hard drive but boot with a CD so my windows won't get messed with. I've tried Video Linux 2.1 alpha and its more for DVD authoring but not bad except very slow in bootup. I would also want parallel bootup and would also use bootchart to further this. I have a new CPU coming in monday- I'm going from a P4 2.40 to a P4 3.0 with HT technology and then buy 1gb ram per month till I max out at 4gb. I need to do this so that, while I'm working with bill collectors, I can still do my videos. I need to work on the audio side of things and I have been working on the drumpads stand. I still have to put 3 last pads together and figure out how to mount them. And I need to watch some Music Creator 3 tutorials to understand this software. I don't see any audio editor with it and I find audacity would be the best except for the interface. I have a hard time editing an audio file on it. things are slowly coming together and its amazing how the Lord is pieceing it. My internet computer was down but I'm back on-line and it has 3 monitors. This is more for studing bible prophecy since all the major players are on the world scene and for newsfeeds. And for working with spreedsheets for my budget. It has really been exciting and busy lately.

The New Drumpads pictures are here!

2006-08-08T16:30:00.000-07:00

click on the link on the left panel that says 'ke'pads'. I still got 3 mousepads to attach and I could put together 2 small ones but I will probly be working on designing the drum stand. The requirements:

1)flexiablity- MUST be able to put together and take apart quickly and MUST break down into a small, compact unit for transporting.

more to follow as I think of it...I already have the box to house the computer for it and the computer for looping drums if I so want to. otherwise, I've been installing various linux onto a testing computer and now need to download benchmark software. And watch out for bootloaders messing things up! I have aLinux 12.8, CCUX, My Geos, and Lunar Linux. I hope to have some sort of documentation at the auxux site (see left panel).

The New drumpads pictures are coming soon...

2006-08-03T11:44:00.000-07:00

and hopefully up by this weekend. My friend, Gary, actually came up with the switch idea but only radio shack carried the part and the switches were too big and expensive. But there's a new electronic store in town and they have smaller switches at cheaper prices and the switches work pretty well. I can see having to do some adjustments as far as sensitivity but nothing too bad. I have 6 regular pads done with 5 more to go. I plan to do small, medium, and big. Then I have to design the stand. Since I'm not a drummer but a free improvisor, it has to relate to whatever playing style I design and the stand has to be flexible so it can be put together and taken apart quickly.
If you came from myspace, I sorry that the above is repeated there. This blog came way before my myspace and it's customized more the way I feel. myspace just feels too limited. I would like to setup a music page there but that may be opening myself up too much. I love my privacy... The pads are taking time because I am taking time. somedays, it's great doing nothing but listening to silence and, other days, it's horrible doing just that. I have an apartment that needs alot of cleaning to get done. sometimes (like yesterday), I have to help someone with their computer. and my body is requiring me to exercise mornings and nights just to be able to move around. The knees ache here and there but, otherwise, are doing great. My right hip locks up when I bend down to pick something up. I have to come up very slowly and carefully. Don't know what I did to pull it.

Leesa Biddy

2006-07-23T11:10:00.000-07:00

My niece, Leesa Biddy, has a CD of country music and she is very good. Her myspace with 2 songs are here. Her webpage is here.

She's been at it for 20 years and is getting very popular in Atlanta, Georgia. I wish her the best. I've been reluctant to post it here of any stuff by family and friends because I don't want my views superimposed onto them.